is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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