the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize