i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
