Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
