So drunk its hurt
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
