Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
