New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
