ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
