You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
