found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
