How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
