my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize