i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
