I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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