I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
