Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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