woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
