I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
