Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
