Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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