He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
