ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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