I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
