i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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