ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
