I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
