We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
