i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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