This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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