I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
