This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
