he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
