Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
