He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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