I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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