why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm too high and old for this...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
