You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
