i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What drink are we having for lunch?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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