Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
