You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
