it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
