Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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