im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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