I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
why do cheetos always look like penises
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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