I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
