And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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