She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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