if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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