I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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