I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just high enough for therapy.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
