The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
