She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
