we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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