Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize