sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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