Me too!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
