Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize