ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
