Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
